


Smile

by Salmagundi



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Awkwardness, Don't puke Richard, Erlich has mad skills, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, baby's first fic, friendly blowjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:04:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salmagundi/pseuds/Salmagundi
Summary: Richard has a case of the nerves. Erlich knows a solution for that.





	Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This is kind of a missing-scene for season 1 episode 4 "Fiduciary Duties", taking place right before the events in the video Erlich shows Richard.
> 
> I'm only halfway through season 2, so please forgive if anything contradicts canon after that point.

 

  
It took Erlich Bachman all of five minutes to realize that Richard Hendricks was shit at parties.

Well, all of the programmers in his incubator were pretty shit at parties, to be honest, but at least Gilfoyle and Dinesh didn't look like they might puke at any second. Richard was just being Richard and overthinking things, which was the opposite of the whole damn point of parties.

Erlich could only take a certain amount of watching someone else's abject inadequacy before realizing it was going to reflect badly on him if anyone realized that this nebbish little man was his partner in this potentially very lucrative starter. Besides, it was just kinda... sad on some level that Erlich wasn't drunk enough to contemplate yet. He snagged a couple of drinks from a guy standing nearby, earning a dirty look that he smiled into.

"Richard!" He called out, clearing the distance between them with a mixture of overwhelming charisma and presence and a fair amount of elbowing intractable dumbasses out of the way. "Drink!" He shoved one of the glasses into Richard's hand, ignoring the dumbfounded stare it garnered. It took only a few moments of expectant staring before Richard began to drink.

There was a bit of a coughing bout at first - it was vodka, and Erlich wouldn't have been surprised if Richard hadn't actually had anything resembling quality liquor before this - but after the first drink, Richard no longer looked like he was about to fall over, and after the second, he was seeming a bit cheered.

It lasted all of the time it took for Richard to overhear a bit of conversation about money, and money was his damned achilles heel. Along with general nervousness and fear of failure, none of which Erlich understood. Well, this was all going swimmingly and he wasn't sure how much alcohol he could ply Richard with before he got some real waterworks - in the form of vomit - all over the party they were trying to impress at.

Time for an intervention.

Erlich wrapped an arm around Richard's shoulders, drink in his other hand, almost dragging him toward the other end of the room, toward the slightly tucked to the back bathrooms.

Damn... even the bathrooms here were impressive. It was bigger as the entire room he kept Richard and Big-Head in at his house. Well, it was for the better. He pulled the door shut behind him, fingers fumbling on the lock before managing to get it turned. Previous experience at doing untoward things in bathrooms had afforded him the knowledge to navigate without having to turn around and look.

"What's going on?" Richard's voice was small and plaintive and Erlich pinched at the bridge of his nose for a moment as he took a breath, reminding himself that if he didn't go easy on the smaller man, there were probably going to be tears - and potentially more vomit - involved.

"No offense man, but you're tanking out there." It was about as tactful as Erlich got. "You need to take a step back. Calm down. We need to make a good impression on these people. Do you know how much money is in that room?"

"Um..."

Erlich didn't give him a chance to guess at the net value of the guests and entertainers of the event, even minus Peter Gregory. In Richard Hendrick's case it was probably a vomit-worthy number. "Look, what do you do when you want to calm down? Do that."

The blank stare told him this wasn't working. Well shit. Erlich wracked his brain for some answer, which was a bit hard to do after four servings of vodka. Luckily he was used to having to think fast. "Look... okay, I've got something. It's not weird." Richard's brow was furrowing with this odd preface. "Just, take off your pants."

"I don't need to pee-"

He cut off the rest of Richard's words with a steely glare. "This isn't for pissing, Richard. This is for not pissing away our chances with these people. We're just gonna relax you, okay?"

Hey, handjobs always helped him relax. This couldn't be that different, especially considering Richard probably wouldn't last a whole hell of a long time. Richard was giving him a disbelieving stare, but he was obviously buzzed, his cheeks were flushed and at some point during Erlich's moment of distraction, he'd gotten his pants unzipped and they were bunched around his thighs.

Whoa. Erlich was about to make a comment about how easy Richard was, especially considering he had no idea what Erlich was planning to do, but his words cut short in his throat when he actually got a good look. Just wow. That was a lot bigger than he'd been expecting from such an easily intimidated nerd.

Not that Erlich was intimidated by it or anything.

Hell, Erlich was almost proud of Richard. He hadn't expected the little guy to be packing.

"Respect." He said, giving a drunken bob of his head toward Richard's crotch. "I gotta-" he gave a laugh, choking the words down mid-sentance before continuing. "I gotta introduce you to some chicks, man. You'll wow 'em with this thing." Maybe not too much wowing though...

...maybe he wouldn't introduce Richard to any of the... well... higher caliber ladies. Not that Richard's stupidly-big-for-his-size dick would actually make women less interested in Erlich's own advances, but the nerd certainly wasn't a high roller yet, potentially successful app or not. He didn't deserve the kind of women Erlich could bring to the table.

His fingers wrapped around Richard's dick, giving an experimental squeeze. Nice heft. If he was a gay guy, he'd totally go for this, especially with the way Richard had his eyes squinted shut slightly and his mouth open just enough to look desperate. That was probably cute to like gay dudes or a women with super low standards or something. Mostly Richard just looked stupid with his hair sticking up in clumps and his face red and that stupid bedsheet toga sliding down his shoulder.

Well shit.

There was something a bit off about this whole thing and Erlich wasn't sure what it was, but if he was doing so well at getting Richard off with just a handjob, he had to wonder...

Erlich leaned in, breathing in drunken huffs against Richard's crotch and making the other man jerk in alarm and look down at him. "W-hat are you doing?"

Erlich looked up at him, even drunk he could still give him a suitably disdainful stare, one that wasn't muted by the curls constantly falling across his eyes. "I'm giving you a blowjob, dumbass." Duh. Richard couldn't seriously be clueless enough to not be able to figure out when he was about to get some prime fellatio going on here. It wasn't like Erlich felt generous enough to do this for most guys, so Richard better damn well appreciate it.

There seemed to be a delay going on in Richard's thoughts, his processor lagging before he managed to croak out. "Is that a good idea...?"

Well, maybe it wasn't. For all Erlich's confidence, oral on a dude wasn't on his list of the many sexual skills he'd mastered. But Richard's lack of faith in him was just fucking disappointing.

"Oh no." Erlich's lips were right up against the head of Richard's dick, like he was talking into some kind of weird fleshy microphone. "You are not backing out of this now, Richard. We are NOT half assing this." He drew a breath, bringing himself up straight and looking down at the dick he was gripping with determination. "We're gonna whole ass this thing."

Richard's response was a somehow less than satisfying series of inarticulate grunts and groans as Erlich swallowed him down like he was a popsicle. God, Richard needed to fucking take a shower. Next time he was going to make sure Richard showered before blowing him. His mind stalled on that notion. This wasn't a 'next time' sort of thing, what the hell.

Not even if he was doing pretty damn good at it.

His hands came up, curling at Richard's hips, one of them sliding around to grip at that skinny ass and drag him forward. It was taking a few tries to get more than just a couple of inches into his mouth, but a stupid thing like gag reflex wasn't going to stop Erlich Bachman when he put his mind to something. He was halfway through pulling back when he went all in like a desperate poker player, hilting the entire length in his mouth. He could feel it pressing against the back of his throat and was pleased to notice that the alcohol had dulled the urge to gag somehow.

"Oh my god..." Richard was already at the discovering religion stage of imminent sexual release, because the same words were stuck in a loop. "Oh my god. Oh my god..." His hands were in Erlich's hair, yanking a bit too hard to be comfortable. He would have yelled at Richard for fucking with his hair if he wasn't already so preoccupied with Richard fucking his face.

Richard was making some really interesting noises now, but Erlich was only half listening as he tried to remember the stuff he'd always enjoyed in blowjobs. Wet, yeah. Wet was good. No teeth... Luckily the constant bump of Richard's tip against the back of his throat was doing a great job of encouraging lots of saliva to slick up all the motions. Once again, he was a genius at sex!

So it shouldn't have been surprising that it didn't last very long, what with Erlich's innate talent and the fact that Richard probably hadn't had sex in like... ever. But Erlich still wasn't prepared for the end result.

He backed off with a sputter and a hoarse "What the hell, Richard?!" Erlich coughed hard, hissing at the sensation of the viscous fluid escaping his mouth to cling to his beard. He spat sharply, trying to get rid of it and mostly succeeding at hawking a gooey mixture of come and saliva on Richard's stupid shoes. "You got jizz up my nose, you fucking asshole!" Erlich was pretty sure it was against some kind of bro code to bust a nut in your friend's mouth without warning him about it first. Inconsiderate prick!

Richard seemed a bit dazed, blinking down at Erlich for a moment, uncomprehending, before his mouth hung open in a gape. He was drunk enough to be wordless for a few seconds, with just small useless noises escaping from his lips before he finally managed to stutter an apology.

Erlich was too busy growling to really notice, wiping his mouth against Richard's toga before standing up up again, swaying as he found his feet. Shit. He was more drunk than he realized "You owe me now, Richard." He slurred through the words before frowning, tongue across his lips in a further effort to banish the taste. Grabbing the half-finished drink still sitting on the sink only helped a little. "Shit. I need another drink..." He was forced to curl an arm around Richard's shoulders while reaching for the bathroom door with his other hand. "Pull your pants up, Richard. Your dick is still hanging out."

He didn't give much more warning than that, and Richard was still fumbling with his pants as Erlich shoved the bathroom door open. There was a guy with a tray of drinks who almost got knocked over as the door slammed open, and Erlich grabbed one in each hand before shoving past. Richard was close behind him, still looking stupid and flustered and Erlich let out a sigh at that whole kicked puppy stare. How the hell did a grown man manage that?

His steps slowed, an arm curling around Richard's shoulders, drink still in hand, sloshing a few drops onto the bedsheet toga. "It's fine, Richard. Have a drink." He took a deep swallow of his, tapping the other glass against Richard's shoulder until he reached up and took it. With more alcohol sapping the taste of spunk from his mouth and restoring his buzz, he was more inclined to be understanding about the whole... mouth jizz thing. "Look, buddy... just because you nutted prematurely doesn't mean anything. It could happen to anyone who's not super awesome at sex-" Obviously Erlich was not among those people "-but you're still a rockstar and we're still gonna make a shit ton of money, so smile, huh."

Richard was staring at him, cup almost at his lips, hopeful expression lighting up his eyes. Yeah, that was a bit better. "Yeah," he said, finally swigging his drink in a swift motion. "I am a rockstar."

"That's right!" Erlich chimed in quickly, grinning a bit himself at Richard's big sloppy smile.

"We're going to make a shit ton of money!"

"Absolutely!" Erlich tipped his almost empty glass in a toast. "And ten percent of that money's gonna be **mine**." Priorities, he reminded himself. Priorities.

Richard was staring at him and he was sure this was going to be a repeat of the conversation they'd already had about money, one that Erlich was sure to win because his argument was rock solid. But instead Richard threw an arm around him, a big goofy grin on his face. "That's right... partner!" Was Richard always like this when he got tipsy? Fuck him if he knew. Erlich liked it though. It was cute in some fucked up way.

He felt it Richard was sputtering on with compliments - for himself and for Erlich and it was hard not to bask in the warm glow at having someone else acknowledge how awesome he was. Richard wasn't so bad. Hell, when it came down to it, he was kinda awesome when he wasn't screwing things up for Erlich.

Everything was delightful and fuzzy and Flo Rida was barely a few arms lengths away from some fucking weird ass statue and Erlich had proven he could give the best damn blowjob and it was all **perfect**.

His hand slid into his pocket, fishing out his phone. This deserved a commemoration "Richard? Richard!" He gave a drunken laugh as he thumbed it open, holding it up as he leaned in closer. "Smile!"

-


End file.
